The Journey Here

In late February of 2020 I went to a reiki practitioner in Gowanus, Brooklyn. I was in a dark place, feeling very fragile. My girlfriend at the time was having feelings for someone else. Murmurs of a strange sickness were floating around. The whole month I was numb and detached. I didn’t know what was going on with me. I was scared.

My hope was that I could reset my energy, maybe release the blockages that were holding me in a state of limbo. All of this felt like it was centered around my urethra trauma. (Read my book False Passages for more on that.)

I arrived at his apartment at 8 pm. The appointment started with an interview. He asked me questions about my current state. I talked of my insecurities, my numbness. I cried about my constant battle with self worth. I gave him the abridged version of my core trauma.

I shared with him how I had been working on my healing with Ayahuasca. He said, “She’s in the room. And so are our spirit guides. And Guardian Angels. They say you are ready. You are ready to go deeper.” Immediately after he said this a burst of energy exploded in the room. My whole body had goosebumps. We both physically jumped. I told him I had never felt anything like that before in my life. His response,”If you keep doing the work, in two years this will be your life.”

That excited me. Feeling that energy was incredible. I would love to have that connection to energy and communication with other realms. That experience showed it was possible I just didn’t know how it would fit into my life. I was just a video editor who lived in a small apartment in Brooklyn.

Three weeks later the pandemic hit. The world shut down. I started working remotely for the first time. My girlfriend moved out. I was alone in my apartment. Friends of mine had left the city for an airbnb in the Hudson Valley. After a few weeks they invited me to join them. The time in that house was intense and amazing. We were dipping into something very beautiful around healing. We wanted it to continue.

Before I knew it we rented a house for a year. Something didn’t quite line up for me, though. There wasn’t enough room for all of us to get what we needed. Since I was the last to join, it was decided that I would have to find another way to be a part of it. The idea of a tiny house came up. One we could put on the property for me to live in. I started browsing tiny houses thinking I would never be able to afford a tiny house. I was beginning to despair.

Before we left the airbnb, I wanted to find some answers. I went through a difficult tumble through the universe with some fungal friends. When I came out the other side I was shown just how perfectly everything was being planned out. Down to every minute detail. I understood that I was to return to the city and wait for the right time to join the others. I would know when the time was right for me move up.

As we were leaving the airbnb, one of my friends turned to me and said. “I just got a message for you. A person named Annabel is going to come into your life.”

I said, “Great! I’ll take an Annabel.” I was newly single after all. I took it to heart but set it aside as I had other things I was concerned with.

Back in the city, I hunkered down in my apartment trying to be as patient as I could. The others started moving up to the house. I felt jealousy, but continued to trust in the plan. Then two weeks after they moved my landlord called me out of the blue. He offered to buy me out of my apartment. Something I wouldn’t have gotten had I told him I was moving four weeks before.

That weekend I went to visit the house. I loved it up there. I wanted so badly to be with my friends in this peaceful paradise away from city noise and stress. And to do the work we wanted to do there.

I started looking at tiny houses again. There was one I couldn’t keep my eyes off of. I went back to it again and again. One of my friends told me to reach out to the owner. He suggested I didn’t have to buy it just go look at it to get the energy moving. So I pressed the ‘contact owner’ button. The name that popped up was Annabel. Goosebumps shot over my arms. I ran out to the porch to show everyone. The friend that delivered the first message about Annabel immediately said, “You’re about to tell us who Annabel is aren’t you?” Ridiculous, I know, but it happened.

The next day I saw the tiny house and loved it. Two weeks later I had a loan taken out and bought this magical little box. A month later I was bought out of my apartment and moved up to the house to live on the property in my own space separate from the rest. Perfect for my needs.

Then the journey really intensified. I started doing really deep work on myself. And learning how to hold space for others doing deep work. It was hard, challenging, taxing. I began intuiting energy work. A year later, reiki came into my life. I got attuned and started doing energy healing.

Last March I began building A Little Room For Healing in the basement of the house. As I was painting the walls and putting the floor in I remembered what that reiki master said to me two years prior. “If you keep doing the work, in two years this will be your life.” He was right. This is now my life. I didn’t plan on it. I was guided to it. I’m happy I listened to that guidance. I’ve never felt more connected to myself.